I happen to be in one of those life phases where boatloads of crucial stuff is vying for my time and attention and it’s got me feeling like I’m being pecked to death by thousands of angry birds- a la Alfred Hitchcock. I know many of you are trying to jump start practices while juggling lots of other demanding things- so I figured I’d bare my big hairy demons for you all in the hopes that what I’ve discovered can help you with your own juggling act.

First, a list of what I’m juggling. I’ll pretend it’s because it’s cathartic for me, but mostly it’s because it makes the Puritan genes in me feel like I’m a good person. For those of you whose family didn’t come over on the Mayflower the short version of the Puritan work ethic is: hard work + productivity = I’m worthy of existing. So here we go:

• I’m a single mom to a two year old sweetie pie of a little boy.
• I’m going through a divorce. Those of you who’ve been there know this is good times.
• The majority of my work hours are spent on a consulting job for a non-profit in education reform. I’m the gal who’s re-vamping their digital life and helping them to build their tribe.
• I’m starting my third Rolfing practice from scratch in New Haven- NCBTMB exam, licensure, office space, website, marketing- it all must happen.
• I’ve got this little site, The Well Practice, you may have heard of it? This site is happily evolving along with my mission to help people to kick ass in their practices. Evolving so quickly that a total rebuild is on the horizon. Sure- no problem! (It’s going to be really freaking good though…)
• My free ebook is about to re-launch, and the manuscript for my printed book (aaah!) continues to be edited and re-vamped.
• I, with a few other good folks, am re-writing the Rolf Institute’s Practice Building curriculum.
• I’m consulting with a handful of fab wellness businesses to help them to spread the good word about what they do. (They’re all pre-launch, so I can’t give them a shout out yet)

Yay! I’m so busy that I must be a good person- one who is worthy of existing! Yippee! Now that my Puritan ancestors are nodding in approval, we can move on. (Provided you haven’t abandoned this page already because you decided you’ve been listening to the ravings of a madwoman).

After writing my multitasking post and taking my own advice, I was disappointed to find that the birds didn’t stop attacking. Even with tidy little time slots for my Stuff, the Stuff is still plain old overwhelming. (Hmmm, so I don’t have all the answers- dang!)

In the spirit of figuring out how to keep the birds from pecking me to death, I was inspired by Havi Brooks* to sit down and take a good look at what is clearly a stuck-ness for me. What I discovered was a surprise. The birds aren’t the Stuff. The birds are my own self-flagellating ways.

What kept coming up in my meditation was the relentless phrase, “I have to make progress.” As I sat with this phrase it dawned on me that I’m always having these internal conversations about what I need to “make” happen. Oy vey. The control freak in me seems to Never. Ever. Go. Away. God forbid I stop turning the handle that rotates the Earth- we would all surely perish.

This gets into the whole slippery business of what my friend Lissa Boles calls manufacturing vs. manifesting. When manufacturing we push, are exhausted yet wired, and feel like a flock of angry birds is following us everywhere we go. 

When we manifest we lie back on our couch, eat bon-bons, and stare blissfully at the ceiling until the Universe delivers our perfect life. Um, just kidding. But this is my constant fear about the manifesting route- that it requires a passiveness that will morph into gummy, sticky, inertia.

Herein lies the tricky balancing act. On the one hand is all the self-improvement stuff we’re constantly hearing in our type-A culture: “Kick ass! Work harder! Just do it! Push past the fear! Yeeaaaaaaah!” and on the other hand is the fear that the alternative is to waste away while we embrace receptivity- whatever the hell that means.

However, what if, with all of our work hard, kick ass stuff we’re actually creating the gummy sticky inertia? As Pema Chodron once said (I paraphrase): “self-improvement is a subtle form of aggression against ourselves.” Trying to improve ourselves implies that we’re not exactly big fans of who we are right now.

What if the self-improvement thing is actually the self-flagellating pain in the ass which- as with all pains in the ass- slows us down and creates the inertia we imagined was reserved for the manifesting route? What if receptivity- or manifesting- isn’t about lying back and thinking of England, but rather about remaining open enough that we can see opportunities, and do the work that’s in front of us with more joy and ease?

As I was forming this post in my mind over lunch, I opened a bottle of Honest Tea and the lid read, “No shade tree? Blame not the sun, but yourself.” I smiled peacefully and thought, “Ah yes, exactly what I’ve been realizing. I need to be my own shade tree. How wise and centered I am.” Then I burst into laughter because there I was back at self-flagellation again. The abbreviated quote does read, “Blame yourself” after all. Alas, it’s a work in progress- but at least I was receptive enough to notice the hilarity of berating myself for not being kinder to myself. Had I not been in a receptive mode, I would have missed that entirely and spun into a new batch of self-loathing. Ah delicious irony. Ah the perks of staying receptive.

 *Havi Brooks is a destuckification expert with an amazing and addictive blog. I’m convinced she’s a freaking genius. She also has a whole category for “not hating on yourself” I head over there when I need to stop the aforementioned hating on myself. I highly recommend.

I was going to call this post “strategic office space” but I suddenly felt compelled to cock one eyebrow and raise a pinky to my lips a la Dr. Evil. I am, however, a big believer that your office space can make or break your private practice, as well as determine the speed of said making or breaking. So hop into your grey jumpsuit and start creepily stroking your cat- here are my best tips for choosing an office space with an eye to growing your practice as quickly as possible (warning: this post is heavily weighted towards renting within an existing wellness center as I find it to be the best way to jump start a practice):

Totally obvious things you’ll want- which I, obviously, had to learn the hard way:

• The right amount of space: When I moved my practice from Napa to Brooklyn I was pretty desperate to get things going. So desperate that I grabbed a space that just plain didn’t work. It was within a larger wellness center- so I was feeling pretty proud of myself- unfortunately it was also ridiculously cramped. I barely had enough space to squeak around the table. While you acupuncturists can get away with that without a problem- we body workers need some room to move. On top of the fact that I looked like Quasimodo while working, the floor was also strongly slanted. Since Rolfing requires a lot of visual assessing of people’s alignment this was good for a chuckle, but unworkable. This office space lasted two weeks. I should have saved myself the grief and kept looking.
• The right feel: When scoping out potential office spaces, go with your gut. It’s cliche, sure, but it works. Most of your clients will take an instantaneous gut read of the vibe of your place and treat you and your services accordingly. Is the space a touch shabby? Then they’ll always be talking your fees down. Is the space full of perky, attractive massage therapists? Then you’re going to learn the meaning of the phrase “special release” really quickly, and it’s not so… special. My first very first office in Massachusetts-yes I briefly had a practice in Massachusetts- was full of well intentioned practitioners who had lots of letters after their names. However, it was in a strip mall, next to a Subway sandwich shop, in a small Massachusetts town. This meant that clients questioned the validity of everyone’s training pretty vigorously- no matter how many letters followed the practitioner’s names . Not for nothing, but I’d do the same in a space with that location.
• The right sound and privacy level: What continues to be my most fab office of all time- the one in Brooklyn- had one flaw: sound. I had a wonderful group of colleagues that I shared space with, a beautiful spacious set up, and  a great location on the main drag in my nabe. However,  we also had very thin walls and an old school salon sharing a wall with us. When I say old school- I mean capital O capital S. This place had been in business for 60 years, and I don’t think the clients had ever changed. This meant that we had a group of-ahem- older Italian women who were constantly gossiping at decibel one million about their ungrateful sons and husbands. This is only funny when you aren’t working on a client. When they start screaming about the curse of Viagra in the middle of an emotional session- it’s a little grating (true story).  
• The right price:I’m constantly amazed how many of our fellow providers are willing to gouge each other when they think about renting out space. It’s like they get giddy about the idea of passive income and lose their sense of decency. Needless to say, it’s not ok for anyone to take 50% of your session, and it’s not ok for you to pay the equivalent of the rent for the entire center when you rent out only one of the rooms.

The make it not break it thing you’ll want:

• Other practitioners: As with all good things, the people make a situation. More than the light, more than the amount of space you have for storing sheets- you need to make sure you dig everyone who shares space with you. The reason why I haven’t addressed the needs of someone who wants to rent a solo office in this post is because I’ve found that most practitioners feel lost in space with this set up. If your goal is to get your practice happening quickly, my best advice is to focus your office hunt on seeking out space with other practitioners who are rocking it and who complement your practice. Within a thriving wellness center that includes complementary practices there’s already energy circulating and you don’t have to do all the lifting- so to speak.

Looking over this post I realize I’ve had a lot of crappy offices. I’ve also some wonderful offices where I was honored to work alongside other amazing practitioners- many of whom are now some of the people nearest and dearest in my life.

As many of you know, I’m heading into practice number three and I’ve just scored my new office. I couldn’t be happier- the light is good, the room is spacious, the noise level is low, and it’s a two minute walk from my house. However, the thing I’m most looking forward to is sharing space with three other highly talented practitioners- a massage therapist and personal trainer, nutritionist, and Pilates teacher. At the end of the day, it’s all about the company you keep.

I had the great good fortune to head over to In Good Company a few weeks ago to talk shop with their group of lovely holistic ladies. As we were chatting, one of the women mentioned that she’s always had a thriving practice, and yet a few months ago- with no changes at all to either how she builds her practice or practices her practice- business dropped waaaaaay off. Specifically, she went from having 70% of those who did a free consult become clients, to about 10% now. Because the economy tanked long before her practice did, and because this isn’t a standard, ‘how can I best [insert strategy idea here]?” question, I had to ponder for a couple of days.

As I combed through what had changed in her life right around the time things got quiet, the culprit was clear: she had started a retreat center. Oh that’s all! Just launching a whole other demanding, screaming, crying newborn baby of a business. Because she had managed to devote just as much time to her private practice while taking on this new enterprise, she couldn’t understand why her practice had suffered.

It’s about energy units people. When something new comes along and fills all available energy units, there’s no room for new clients. Even though as you speak with a potential client you’re thinking consciously that you want this person to work with you, on a subconscious level your quivering little energy units are screaming, “Noooooooooooo! Not another thing- when would I have time!!”

It’s as if you’re stranded in the ocean, treading water, and hoping that a rescue boat will show up on the horizon. When you find yourself in this situation it’s impossible- and ridiculous- to think about swimming to shore. You’re trying to conserve energy because you don’t know how long you’ll be adrift, how far you even are from shore, or where the hell shore is- not to mention the unknown challenges that might crop up (hungry sharks, dehydration, leg cramps- good times). When you feel this way internally, your subconscious self is in full on conservation mode. Your potential clients’ subconscious selves can smell said mode, and they go elsewhere looking for the practitioner who they feel can devote full attention to them. Who can blame them?

This doesn’t mean that you can’t take on new things, even if they’re big, bold projects-I’m pro big, bold projects. The world needs more of them. There’s one simple equation that will help to navigate those times when your energy units are feeling like they’re treading water: multitasking = that stranded in the ocean feeling.

Set clear boundaries on your time for each endeavor. In this case, I’d make clear boundaries on “retreat center” time and “private practice” time. When doing anything at all related to her private practice, there shouldn’t be any tinkering with thoughts or actions related to the retreat center. Likewise, when working for the retreat center, there is nothing at all happening related to her private practice.

It takes some getting used to- trust me I’m no pro. Think of it as you would a meditation practice. When meditating, you bring your wandering thoughts back- gently- either to your mantra or by simply noticing and letting go of the thought. When clarifying your time boundaries, you’re noticing when your energy units start to wander over to the other Thing when it’s not the time allotted for that Thing. When that happens, just gently bring them back, and turn your full energy to whatever Thing you’re currently focusing on.

Clarify what projects you have brewing and write them in your calendar with specific blocks of time- and don’t forget to add non-work time! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take my own advice and write up a clear schedule for each of my Things. I see a rescue boat on the horizon- who’s with me!

*don’t forget to evaluate the passive energy unit suckers too- piles of bills, that dentist appointment you keep putting off making, your train wreck of an email inbox: Set aside whatever time you may need to clear out the clutter so you can focus fully on what matters.

My dear friend and colleague, Lissa Boles from True Callings, has recently been interviewing me as an associate faculty member for her True Callings Tribe*.

In our most recent chat she and I were talking about how I got into Rolfing and my experience trying to grow my first practice. Yes, trying to grow not growing. As most of you know, it was three years of stumbling blindly into brick walls. I’ve always talked about the cause of this clusterf*ck as the result of my total lack of knowledge about how to grow my practice. Which is true. However, what Lissa illuminated for me is that something else had gone missing in those years- my Why.

Because I had had such a profound healing experience with Rolfing as a client, when I went to school to study it, my number one, super potent Why was clear: people don’t need to suffer so much- and I want to do the thing that taught me that lesson and helped me to heal. (it’s worth noting that this is the same Why that has me teaching practice building- maybe we all just have one over-arching Why?)

However, once I got out of school and was faced with the fact that there weren’t lines of clients waiting for my services (hard to believe they weren’t shoving fistfuls of bills into my hands just to experience this thing with the wonderful name Rolfing), my Why became a stranger. Suddenly my panicked subconscious was whispering a new Why in my ear: “I need to figure out some way to convince people to pay me so that I can do this thing I love.” Um, yuck. Desperation + manipulation + self-loathing = no clients.

When I, in my new-grad-strapped-for-cash-lost-in-space state, believed that this was my Why, I went running from it. How could I possibly follow through on a Why that I was so averse to? And so I didn’t try to convince people to pay me to do the thing I loved. I hid. I hoped people would somehow find me and benefit from my work. Did that work out? Not so much.

When I moved to Brooklyn to start from scratch (after 3 years of hiding out and scraping by in Napa) I got busy and decided not to hide anymore. As many of you reading along know, this is when I fell in love with practice building and it all clicked. However, my conversation with Lissa reminded me that the decision to take action on growing my practice started with re-framing my Why.

After the move, I was surveying what my options would be if I didn’t make a change- another 3 years of silently suffering, another place where I had to work 4 part-time jobs on top of my Rolfing practice, another 3 years barely making ends meet- I got pissed. And when I got pissed the booming voice of my true Why came yelling out at me, “Heeeeeeeeey! Listen up you self-loathing, pain in my ass! (my inner Why can be kind of a pain in my ass) You’re offering people a gift for Gods sake, not asking them to do you a favor!” And with that it was like someone had flipped the light switch on. What if the Rolfer who had helped me- or the myriad of wellness practitioners who had saved my bacon since then- had never gotten it together to get the word out about their practices? Think of how I would have missed out. Which begged the question- who might be missing out because I’m not putting myself out there? Getting my Why back was the rocket fuel behind the whole thing. Once I had that, and I started taking action, it was 3 months to a full practice. In 3 months I accomplished what I never could in the previous 3 years.

What’s your true Why? Are there any false Why’s floating around in your beliefs?

*The True Callings Tribe is Lissa’s way to share insights from people who are living what she calls the ‘callings led life’ in other words- those of us who are both crazy enough and wise enough to live the life that follows that inner voice. If you want to listen to the full interview I had with her, you can find it here.