So here I am, a wee bit more than a month after hanging out my shingle for my new practice, and I have the lovely opportunity to be intentionally wrapping up my one big consulting job (aka, the thing that pays my bills) so that I can add more appointment slots to my Rolfing week- because, go figure, the ones I currently have are all filled up. Yay! I’m such a rock star! I win!

Except for the, “Oh no! What if I screw it up! I. AM. FREEEAAAKING OUT!” panic attacks that keep bubbling up to the surface. Somehow actually completing the one big job, and then leaning heavily on my Rolfing income to support myself and my son, has hit all these little trip wires of worry.  

For example, one of my totally delightful new clients called me the other day to cancel her next three appointments, because she wants to wait to proceed with her Rolfing sessions. That one little hole of time in my schedule sent me into a tizzy of fear. Suddenly I’m thinking that I also haven’t had a new client call in two whole days. Dear lord, that’s trouble.

I know if you haven’t had a new client call in two months that you’re glaring at me through this screen. And you have my blessings with this- I did mention that these were non-sensical panic attacks. The reality is that I’m rocking it in my new practice, I do know a bit about how to grow this thing, I’ve been in practice for nine years, this is the third time I’ve started a whole new gig from scratch, and the second time that I’ve done it really quickly and with a ton of success- so (pardon the teen text-ese) WTF? What I realized is that it’s just plain scary- this whole private practice thing- no matter what.

If this is your first practice, and/or you’ve been working at it for a while now without leaving the day job- it can be downright terrifying. So why not enjoy the safety net for as long as it lasts? Because at a certain point the safety net becomes a bonafide net. Um, the kind used to trap fish and small animals. All of our abilities to grow are dictated by the amount of space we give whatever we’re trying to grow. We’ve just gotta create space for the things that matter. You can’t expect a plant in a pot that’s too small to become a towering mass of luscious greenness- it’s going to slow down to accommodate the pot it finds itself in.

With all this mixing of metaphors of small pots and nets (I can feel my high school English teacher mournfully shaking her head), you’d think I’m a fan of the leap before you look philosophy. To this I can only say HELL NO. I lived the leap before you look philosophy for a long time and while I learned a ton and have no regrets, I also suffered way more than I had to. I find life to be better when I minimize the suffering I am in control of, because we don’t get to control these things all the time. Looking to see what kind of leap you’re taking (off a 30-story building? into a thorn patch? into a clear beautiful lake?) is one of those issues where we can use a little foresight to minimize our suffering after we land. Like anything, it’s all about balance. Not so safe that you’re growth is stunted, not so fearless that you’re reconsidering your leap as you pass by the windows of the 30 stories that were below you.

With that, here are some tips for leaving the safety net:

• Transition incrementally:  If at all possible, gradually decrease the amount of time spent at the day job as you gradually increase the amount of time spent at your practice. You can try negotiating with your boss to see if they’re open to you slowly cutting down your hours or dropping a day. You can also just slowly add days when you’re at your practice (which I realize makes life very full for a while) and then drop the day job when you’re ready. Having the opportunity to actually experience paying your bills more and more on your private practice income is invaluable in slaying the fear demons.
• Figure out your bare minimum number: Figure out the number of clients you need each week just to meet your living expenses. When figuring out your monthly living expenses don’t forget to add everything in there- how much to you really spend on groceries? What are you paying on monthly memberships for things? No one is looking over your shoulder shaming you for still carrying that gym membership. Cutting down your expenses can be super useful, but for this exercise get the real number of what it costs you to live each month. Also remember to subtract your practice expenses- office rent, supplies, laundry, etc from the amount your bare minimum number brings in. For example, my bare minimum number is seven. For me, seven clients per week equals $3360 a month, minus expenses, which brings the number to $2800 per month. At $2800 a month I can meet my bare minimum for living (and I have ruthlessly cut my expenses, so this number is low for most).  The bare minimum number serves only as a panic button that lets you know to up the ante with your practice building activities once you’re fully reliant on your practice to pay your bills.
• Figure out your freedom number: To know what number you need to leave the day job, you’ve got to use the bare minimum number as a springboard. These two numbers should not be the same number. Remember, the point is for us to minimize suffering here- no need to leave your job only to scrape by. So, how many clients do you need to leave? The easiest way to do this is to take your bare minimum number and add half that number to it. Double it if you’re security minded. That makes my freedom number of clients per week somewhere between nine and twelve. I’m working with twelve in my mind- and I’m only making eleven slots available each week- this takes into consideration that everyone won’t see me weekly, and adds some padding for the ebbs and flows. Keep in mind that I do still have this little site here, and part of my transition back into private practice is to free more time for The Well Practice- so my numbers are low because of my work here, and also because as a bodyworker I can only see one client at a time.  Be sure to figure out your own numbers- this is absolutely not one size fits all. Lastly, remember that once you’re out on your own, you don’t have to freak out when you drop below your freedom number. It’ll happen. Just use these parameters to know when you need to fan the flames of your practice.
• Embrace the reality of fear: I still think Susan Jeffers said it best with, “feel the fear and do it anyway.” There is no such thing as the absence of fear when making big transitions (unless you’re mentally ill) so just remember that it comes with the territory, and isn’t necessarily a sign to stop in your tracks. The reality is that there is no such thing as security, but since we humans seem to endlessly seek it, this can be a bummer. However, when you embrace the fact that fear will show up as we navigate the big stuff,  you can choose what’s best for you- rather than what society tells you is the officially “safe” way to go. In truth, there is no safety (we can see this clearly in our current economy, all my friends who compromised their passions for “safe” jobs are now scrambling)- and frankly, I’d rather rely on myself than an employer to create my income. With an employer you never quite know when the rug could suddenly get pulled out from under you- as noted by all the rug-less people these days. With yourself, you have your panic button number that tells you to kick things into high gear, and your own efforts to rely on to get the magic happening.

This grab bag of handy dandy tricks is helping me a great deal as I make the leap. Other essential goodies for me are meditation, movement, and honing the internal compass (in other words, listening to my gut). Byron Katie’s The Work, also always helps me out tremendously, and I’m currently reading Emotional Bullshit by Carl Alasko. I haven’t finished it yet, but so far I’m a fan and I find it’s a good resource for knowing your own core needs, and clarifying healthy boundaries. What are your life rafts? I’m always game to add new resources to my staying sane library.

Tags: budgeting, fear, leaving the day job, practice building

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 am and is filed under For When You Feel Like You Can't Keep On Keeping On. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.